In a world full of distractions and gut-wrenching news reports, how can remain optimistic, positive and open? There is a unique formula, it’s just not very popular.
It’s about becoming aware of your thoughts before they enter your heart and become part of your reality. What you think about is crucial to who you are and how you experience life.
However, there are things you can do that can help you create and harness the power of your mind and live a happier life.
Why just thinking positive thoughts don’t actually help
Positive Thinking is most often interpreted as exerting control over your thoughts – turning seemingly negative thoughts into positive ones. However, this is the fundamental flaw.
Your thoughts are a commentary on life, whereas life itself is a feeling. Your perception of life, what you’re experiencing through your 5 senses and your emotions, is how you create meaning. When your thoughts are stuck replaying past experiences, then that’s all you’ll see, and you’ll get stuck.
When you interpret a situation, you tend not to see things as they truly are, but as you expect them to be, as learned from past events and experiences. It is these expectations that confine and define your present and future experiences.
Like learning to ride a bike without training wheels, so too must you learn to enjoy life without predetermined expectations which might have supported you in the past but are now holding you back from moving into the next phase of your life. You can start this process by engaging with and accepting your true self.
21 Ways to starting a successful relationship with yourself
Below are 21 ways to help you learn how to love yourself to ultimately create a more fulfilling and happy future.
1. Surround yourself with people that inspire you
The people you spend most of your time with can have a remarkable impact on your mindset.
What makes someone the right person to spend time with are those individuals who inspire you to be a better person, encourages you to achieve your goals, supports you and celebrates your successes. Surround yourself with people who build you up rather than break you down.
2. Practice forgiveness
Animosity is a breeding ground for negative thoughts because it develops resentment and unhappiness. You don’t have to forget when someone has wronged you but forgive them their offences and move on. Stop holding on to what is painful and make space for the things that feel right.
3. Discover what matters to you and dare to do it
True happiness, in the long run, is all about finding what is important to you as an individual. You can create lasting happiness not because you are perfect or lucky but because you dare to do what matters to you.
4. Change your definition of success
The true meaning of success is living a life that brings personal fulfilment and lasting happiness. Don’t pursue money and recognition, these are the result of doing work you are passionate about. Discover your passion, and you’ll find success.
5. Be yourself
Don’t imitate someone else’s dreams and value system. You will never be happy or prosperous if you can’t be true to yourself.
6. Don’t rely on others approval
Don’t wait for others’ permission to pursue your dreams. Give yourself permission to do what makes you happy.
7. Do more of what you love
Passionate people go the extra mile, try different things, and progress quicker than those who only do things for income.
8. Develop a craving for knowledge
If there is one thing you should be greedy about, it should be the procurement of ‘intellectual capital’. Once you have earned knowledge, you have a moral obligation to invest that capital to make a difference. When we make a positive difference in other people’s lives, we’ll be rewarded with positive feelings.
9. Change your attitude toward failure
People that have a great relationship with themselves are people that are open to learning from their failure. They adapt and tackle difficulties straight on. Try viewing negative situations from a different perspective. Find the learning in the situation so that you can use the situation for your own growth and evolution.
10. Get rid of what’s draining your energy
Alignment mandates that you get rid of all the stuff that no longer serves to help you grow and improve yourself. This includes people. Choose wisely.
11. Venture outside your comfort zone
We as humans are creatures of habit and tend to find comfort in the familiar. And it’s ok, but sometimes in life, there are moments when we find ourselves outside of our comfort zones. These are the times to discover your true self.
12. Let go of the things you can’t control
Stop trying to control something that you can’t, for example, how your boss will react to you asking for a raise. Stop worrying about things you have no control over, instead focus on that which you do. For example, providing your boss with a detailed list of your work accomplishments since your last salary increase.
13. Embrace reality
Every time you suffer a loss, you’ll gain something new; a different perspective, a new relationship, or a talent you did not know you had. Do not bury your head in the stand. Stand tall and face reality head-on.
14. Accept change
Change is the only constant in life. Accept this. Don’t fight it but embrace the possibilities and opportunities that lie within it. Growth is not possible without change.
15. Hold tight to the good things in life
When life’s troubles knock you down, and you can’t see anything but darkness, don’t waste precious energy trying to burrow your way out. Instead, use what energy you have left to reach out to the good things already present in your life and be grateful.
16. Relax and regroup
Strength is about making a decision, living with the consequences, and gaining knowledge from your experiences. Sometimes you do the best you can and still end up a wreck. When this occurs, don’t be disheartened. You haven’t failed; you merely discovered what not to do. Take a breath, collect yourself, and start again.
17. Learn to meditate
To create a fearless and determined mindset, you must change your thinking. Meditation allows you to access different parts of your brain, helping you to unlock what is holding you back, so you can get unstuck and discover your destiny.
18. Take risks
Trying new things can be scary. But having regrets is scarier. Don’t let fear hold you back. Live your life in such a way that you don’t regret the chances you didn’t take, the love you never allowed, and the gifts you never offered.
19. Realise every step is necessary
We gain knowledge from each step we take. Whatever you did today was an essential step to reaching your tomorrow. Be proud of yourself. Perhaps you aren’t yet where you want to be in life, but you’re also not the person you used to be because you’ve grown.
20. Unleash your inner-child
Take time to play. Build a puzzle, challenge your partner to a board game, go outside and throw a frisbee or walk the dog. It’s important to give yourself permission to have fun and be a kid again.
21. Smile and laugh often
Seek humour in your everyday activities and learn to laugh at yourself. In case you’ve forgotten how, contract the muscles near the corner of your mouth, drawing them to your ears and show those beautiful teeth. That’s it!
Use these 21 techniques to engage with yourself and enjoy the person you’re becoming. If you have trouble moving on, contact us and request your free consultation.