It is a proven fact that humans will never agree on everything. If it were not true, war would only be a myth and world peace a reality. But, if there is one thing we can all agree on, it is that life is hard! Just when you think you are on top, life throws you a curveball that knocks you right off your feet. No one is immune to the ups and downs of life. All of us share the same fate. But somehow, some people look like they have it all figured out. Even when life gets rough, they are the epitome of positivity and optimism. One thing all these people have in common is enlightenment.
Enlightenment in the sense that worrying about the things you can’t control won’t change the situation. They also don’t wrestle with inner conflict. Where and when did this enlightenment happen? And why have you not been subjected to such an aha moment?
Some people are born worriers while others tend to be more laid back. Some of us look for the fault somewhere else while others do regular introspection. The latter in both situations are the people who tend to be more enlightened. They make life look easy and fun, you know like it is supposed to be – at least most of the time.
Are you a constant worrier? Do you blame your circumstances on everyone but yourself? If you have answered yes to one or both of these questions, do not be ashamed or dismayed. You can become enlightened too. You are the only one that has the power to change how you react to challenging situations. The fact that you are reading this article is enough to prove that you are ready for change.
Signs You Are Overthinking
- Difficulty falling asleep (Insomnia)
- Fear of failure
- The need to control everything
- Overanalyzing and overthinking
- Always second-guessing yourself
- Physical symptoms (fatigue, pains and aches)
- Inability to live in the moment
How to Stop Overthinking and Worrying
Constant worrying and overthinking leads to anxiety. And anxiety leads to depression. It is a vicious cycle that will impact your life negatively, both mentally and physically. That’s right, anxiety and depression can cause physical symptoms.
Do you suffer from regular headaches or migraines? Do you have digestive issues? Unexplained muscle, joint or back pain? Chest pain? These are all physical symptoms you can expect from anxiety.
Added to that are constant fatigue, lightheadedness and sleeping problems. As you can see, stopping the cycle of overthinking and worrying will not only make you relax a little more, it will also improve your mental and physical health. So how does one stop OVERTHINKING?
Start paying attention to your thoughts. If you find yourself replaying thoughts in your mind of things out of your control, STOP! And acknowledge that these thoughts are not productive.
Dispute Your Thoughts
Fixating on negative thoughts is easy. But before you give in to the notion that if you call in sick, you will get fired or missing one deadline will ruin your career, acknowledge that your thoughts might be exaggerated.
Focus on Solving the Problem
Dwelling on problems is not helpful at all. But you know what is? Finding solutions. If you have made a mistake, ask yourself what you can learn from it. Change your complete thinking about mistakes. There is no such thing as mistakes, just learning opportunities.
Focus on What you Want
In most instances, fear can fuel overthinking and worrying. Focusing on all the bad things that might happen is due to an avoidance of facing your fear. Instead, focus on all the good things that you want happen.
Allow Yourself Time for Reflection
Running away from your problems isn’t what we are implying. But dwelling on the self-pity, self-judgement and self-deprecating thoughts for extended periods should be stopped. Allow yourself time for reflection, learning, forgiveness and then refocus on what you want. For example, set aside 20 minutes a day for thinking and worrying. And then when the time is up, move onto what is going on underneath all that.
Practising mindfulness is proven to reduce overthinking. Meditation is a skill that takes time to perfect, but you know what they say: Practice makes perfect.
How to Resolve Internal Conflict
Inner conflict implies that the mind is confused between various perspectives and isn’t able to fixate on one thought, ultimately causing anxiety.
Signs of Internal Conflict
- Being easily influenced by the opinions and views of others
- Feelings of guilt and shame about their impulses or drives
- Difficulty making decisions as well as doubtful after making decisions
- Attracted to dysfunctional relationships
- Highly volatile when facing challenges
- No sense of stability
- Always seeking support and approval from others
- Uncertain about they want from life
- Avoids conflict at all costs
Creating awareness of inner conflict is enough to start the journey of solving it. Here are some steps that follow:
Figure out Who You Are and What You Want
Not knowing who you are or what you want from life is a recipe for inner disaster. Not everyone questions life and its meaning. Some people do exactly what is expected of them from society, ultimately losing themselves. To resolve inner conflict, you need to determine what YOU want from life, and not who others want you to be.
Internal conflict is just the mind reacting to fear. Fear of being different or wrong. When you develop the courage to stay true to yourself and your integrity, you will start to ground yourself and react from a place of trust.
Not everything in life is fun. But to really live, you need to have fun often. Follow your passion and do more of what will make you happy. If you don’t know yet, try out different things to find your joy. “Follow your bliss” as Joseph Campbell puts it. If you are not true to yourself, you will always feel conflicted.
When you find out who you are as a person, its impossible to have inner conflict. The most important thing you can do is invest time in yourself to achieve a life of harmony.
How Executive Coaching Can Help You Solve Inner Conflict and Overthinking
By resolving inner conflict and overthinking, you can excel in life. This will not only apply to your personal life but in your business or career as well. If this is your main objective and you are looking for guidance by a professional, you might want to consider an executive coach.
Executive coaching is about exploring and discovering who you are (emotions and beliefs), what you want to achieve and the things that are standing in the way of reaching your full potential (negative thought patterns such as overthinking and excessive worry).
When you work with an executive coach or life coach, you will learn how to direct your thinking, focus your awareness, attain clarity in different circumstances and defeat stress. Once you have learned these lessons, you will be equipped to apply them to your life, both personally and professionally.
Working with Integrative Executive Coaches
The integrative approach is based on experience rather than academic teaching. It teaches you how to master your emotions and awareness which will enable you to reach your full potential, thus support positive change.
Sustainable change is only possible when you exchange the power of unconscious emotions for conscious awareness. An Integrative executive coach will teach you to take responsibility so you can be liable for your own emotional and mental well-being.
Overthinking and internal conflict stops you from living in the present. Instead, you are pondering things that might not even happen. You are wasting precious time. And time is an extremely precious commodity we have in this life, itis one thing we can never get back. Change the course of your life today by getting help from professionals and hire an executive coach. Get in touch with Integrative Coaching and book your first session.